Sunday, 18 July 2010


Day 4 (Friday) started well as you've already read. At about 3pm I started looking at porn. At about 4pm I lay on the bed with my bullet and got to work on my second edge. After reaching the edge I had a little rest but couldn't resist continuing. Unfortunately this was my downfall. Before you ask, no, I did not cum.

I should probably mention here that I used to have a porn/masturbation addiction of sorts. Before I met Settiano I would spend large portions of the day getting myself off and trawling the internet for anything to turn me on. It made me feel disgusting and dirty, which is exactly what turned me on, so I couldn't stop. When I started dating Settiano it died out a little at a time until I didn't even realise that it had stopped.

On Friday it all came back. Playing with myself under the sheets, thinking what a dirty slut I am to get myself closer. Unfortunately when I couldn't reach my third edge it hit me what was happening and it ended in tears.

We decided to leave this little test for another time (I think) and it wasn't until this morning that I had the courage to masturbate as I was so worried how it would effect my emotions and opinions of myself. It went well, I didn't cum but I did (sort of) enjoy it so I'm hoping that I can get back to my normal healthily sexual self. It may take time so please excuse any sporadic posting for a while, thank you.

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