Adieu (for now)

It seems, once again, i am apologizing for my lack of posts.  i had really hoped that this time i would have something to write about, or find a way in which i could say it.  Apparantly that has not been the place.  And so i'm saying adieu to this blog, but only for now.  Master and i have agreed to keep the space open, in case W/we wish to return to it at some point in the future.  Right now W/we must focus on life and university and simply getting through the next few months.

i hope i will find solace in this place once again, but for now, it will simply rust in the depths of cyberspace.  However, i will still try and read and comment once in a while on other blogs and will try to keep my blogroll updated, if nothing else.  So i direct to others who are writing about the BDSM lifestyle and hope you will find something useful and comforting in their words - i know i will.

New Year; New U/us

The last month of last year was filled with ups and downs.  There was a week over Christmas when Master and i were not together physically and it pulled at O/our hearts.  But when He arrived at mine, it seems the distance gave Him the chance to discover more of what He wants as a Dom.  When He arrived He was more forceful and more demanding.  It seemed He had finally found a place inside Him where He was at peace with hurting me (in a completely consensual way).

This is something i've been waiting for since the beginning of O/our relationship - for Him to be more demanding and make me truly feel like a slave.  But i didn't anticipate the emotional fallout it would cause inside me.  i'm still working through what happened as i shut down completely for a day or two, unsure of who or what i was.  But now i feel happy and content.  i don't know what changed, though i know reading D/s blogs helped immensely.  i just know that i'm now looking forward to where this new direction will take U/us.  i know it will challange both of U/us but i truly believe that that is what W/we need.  i know i certainly need to be pushed a little to feel content and now i know that Settiano is capable of being the Master i need.

He is still discovering His dominating style so i know it will still be a little hit and miss for a while.  But now i feel that W/we are on the right track and W/we are moving forward.  And the fact that it happened on the cusp of a new year just makes me smile at the coincidence of the timing.  A new year for new beginnings and for continuing to discover O/ourselves.