The last month of last year was filled with ups and downs. There was a week over Christmas when Master and i were not together physically and it pulled at O/our hearts. But when He arrived at mine, it seems the distance gave Him the chance to discover more of what He wants as a Dom. When He arrived He was more forceful and more demanding. It seemed He had finally found a place inside Him where He was at peace with hurting me (in a completely consensual way).
This is something i've been waiting for since the beginning of O/our relationship - for Him to be more demanding and make me truly feel like a slave. But i didn't anticipate the emotional fallout it would cause inside me. i'm still working through what happened as i shut down completely for a day or two, unsure of who or what i was. But now i feel happy and content. i don't know what changed, though i know reading D/s blogs helped immensely. i just know that i'm now looking forward to where this new direction will take U/us. i know it will challange both of U/us but i truly believe that that is what W/we need. i know i certainly need to be pushed a little to feel content and now i know that Settiano is capable of being the Master i need.
He is still discovering His dominating style so i know it will still be a little hit and miss for a while. But now i feel that W/we are on the right track and W/we are moving forward. And the fact that it happened on the cusp of a new year just makes me smile at the coincidence of the timing. A new year for new beginnings and for continuing to discover O/ourselves.
I'll Stand Before the God of Song
2 weeks ago