Thursday, 29 April 2010

Needing More

Now that i am beginning to accept that Settiano as Master and myself as His, i am finding myself wanting me. The problem is that the wanting only seems to occur when i am not with His. When He is actually using me it can still be quite confusing and difficult to deal with. So i am wondering what is i really want. And if it matters, unless i actually need it, as it is what He wants and needs that comes first.

i think that it does matter, clearly the fact that i'm writing this is showing that i feel i need something, i'm just not sure what that something is. It is important because not having it is taking my focus away from Master and serving Him.

And i think that that is one of the things i need - focus. It is easy enough to focus when He is making me beg t be fucked or to make me cum. But obviously we aren't having sex all the time. So i need my focus shifted onto serving Him the rest of the time - when i am with Him and when i'm not (physically). So as i believe it is my job to focus myself as much as it is Master's, i (and Master would as well) appreciate any advice on how i can focus myself on Him.


  1. Gosh, I can't give you any advice because a lot of the time, I feel this exact same way. But I can say, I understand your dilemma. If that helps at all. If you follow mouse's blog: A Slave's Tale, or turiya's: Spirited Meanderings, I've always found amazing insight and advice in their words. *hug*

  2. Thank you for your post - i already follow those blogs and many others beside. i will update my 'where i lurk' section today.