Yesterday i discovered a new mind-set. i was wearing my little girl dress (so named because the moment i put it on i enter the little girl mind-set) as Master said He missed Hiss little girl. Due to uni stresses for both of U/us she hasn't really had a chance to come out and play. i had been wearing the dress all day in anticipation but with jeans which has no where near the same effect. So when i took the jeans off i felt the transformation into a little girl. When i say little girl i mean i feel/think/act as if i'm between 5 and 8 yrs old (depending on situation) and this time was no differeint for the first few minutes.
That was when something changed. i'm not sure what changed exactly but i felt 15. Granted, a very naive 15 yr old but then again i was a very naive 15 yr old in real life (it's the age i got my first 'real' boyfriend and my first kiss). So yesterday when i felt 15 i had a whole scenario in my mind. i knew i was with my boyfriend who was about 20 (which is His real age) but i also felt as if it was the beginning of the relationship. i felt ready for sex (something i definitely wasn't ready for at 15) yet i was slightly unsure as i felt a virgin.
Now in the back of my mind i knew who i am, how old i am etc. as i always do. But i honestly felt and believed i was the teenager. i didn't act it out, i was it. i know this sounds completely crazy but if i had allowed the back of my mind to switch off i do believe i would have been that 15 yr old until my mind snapped out of it. i didn't need to create her, she was already somewhere inside me and i feel happy for her that she has found a way out to express herself.
i really enjoyed being the teenager - she is the teenager i wish i had been - and i'm looking forward to many experiences with her. There is nothing like being a teenager in love for the first time. Though of course i would take my submission and love for Master any day.
It's as Big as the Promise
6 days ago