New Year; New U/us

The last month of last year was filled with ups and downs.  There was a week over Christmas when Master and i were not together physically and it pulled at O/our hearts.  But when He arrived at mine, it seems the distance gave Him the chance to discover more of what He wants as a Dom.  When He arrived He was more forceful and more demanding.  It seemed He had finally found a place inside Him where He was at peace with hurting me (in a completely consensual way).

This is something i've been waiting for since the beginning of O/our relationship - for Him to be more demanding and make me truly feel like a slave.  But i didn't anticipate the emotional fallout it would cause inside me.  i'm still working through what happened as i shut down completely for a day or two, unsure of who or what i was.  But now i feel happy and content.  i don't know what changed, though i know reading D/s blogs helped immensely.  i just know that i'm now looking forward to where this new direction will take U/us.  i know it will challange both of U/us but i truly believe that that is what W/we need.  i know i certainly need to be pushed a little to feel content and now i know that Settiano is capable of being the Master i need.

He is still discovering His dominating style so i know it will still be a little hit and miss for a while.  But now i feel that W/we are on the right track and W/we are moving forward.  And the fact that it happened on the cusp of a new year just makes me smile at the coincidence of the timing.  A new year for new beginnings and for continuing to discover O/ourselves.

His Cum

For two nights i slept with His cum inside me. i have never felt so owned, nor so content. Every time i moved i was reminded that i am His by His cum leaking down my leg. i let it drip, knowing that that's where it belongs. i didn't want to wipe it away so for two nights i let it dry on me.

Those two nights were a big step for me as i didn't freak out once about what i am giving Him. Because, even though i knew it before, i am now completely certain that this is where i belong. With Him. His. Owned by Him. And it is the best way to lead to happiness.

i'm not saying i won't freak out again. i know me and i know i will. But i also know that now i can cope with the aftermath. i can cope because of Him, not in spite of Him. i am His and he is my Master. W/we belong together, with each other, with His cum in me, on me and wherever else He chooses.